- Just because I am not ready to date doesn’t mean I don’t want a relationship. Girl can get lonely ‘ya know?
- SINGLE PARENTS CAN EVENTUALLY FIND SOMEONE AND MOVE ON! I really hate when people say “no one is going to want to date you because you have a kid”. Contrary to belief most guys I have talked to don’t mind dating or getting to know someone with a kid. These opinions and “facts” are based on my own experiences.
My rules as a single parent and dating:
- DON’T introduce your child(ren) to every Tom, Dick, and Harry. I grew up with divorced parents. My parents did date other people after the divorce. More so my mom, and one thing that sucked was my brother and I met most of her boyfriends. We got attached. Then it didn’t work out. SUCKED completely. With that being said I have to be seeing a guy at LEAST 6 months before he can meet my son.
- The first date, IF it’s a “blind date”, then no I am not gonna tell this guy that I have a kid. No need to tell them EVERYTHING. Need to feel him out first. Make sure he’s not a creeper, and of course if he actually likes kids.
- First date if the guy already knows you have a kid—-Well 2 things with this scenario—I’d like to think positive and think “Oh he’s accepting of the fact that I have a kid and he’s family man potential”….UH don’t always think that right off the bat! Keep your guard up, be honest and straight forward in what you want because the second scenario could be that he doesn’t care that you have a kid and just wants to bang you and move on. Let’s be for real here, you can’t just put all your eggs into one basket.
- This rule is for when the child is between 3-6 years of age: TALK TO YOUR CHILD. If you’ve been talking to someone for 6 months+ and you (and the guy) are ready to meet the love of your life (your child obv), explain to your child what’s up. It builds trust and a bond with your child! It gives them a better understanding on what’s going on.
- And if UNFORTUNATELY you did all the above and after a long time of dating/serious relationship, it doesn’t work out, explain to your child that this person that was special and much very involved isn’t going to be around as much anymore. Break it down in a mature loving manner no matter what—-even if it was a bad break up. Kid doesn’t need to know the juicy details, just what’s appropriate for their age and what they can handle. Slowly distance the child and the ex from each other. Remember they developed as much of a bond as you did with that person. A child doesn’t have a full on grasp of how relationships work; it’s a very sensitive subject.
These are just things that I have thought out because I know that eventually I will go through these things. I know EVERY situation is different. These are just guidelines for myself.
For all you single mothers and single fathers what are your thoughts on dating? experiences?