Throughout my pregnancy I’ve gone through so many emotions. For some that have been following since the beginning know the first three-four months was extremely hard for me mentally. Finding out I was pregnant again with a man I barely knew made me scared and panicked.
From the day I found out my IUD failed me, and I was pregnant I would’ve never thought I would be sitting here in bed next to this beautiful man that has supported me and has put up with my roller coaster emotions. I cannot thank Nico enough for his support through all this and the fact that not only has this affected me emotionally, mentally, and physically, but it’s affected him too! He went from bachelor, first time serious relationship, to “papa” to Adonis, to expectant father to his own biological child with in four months of casually dating me.
Exactly one month of him practically stepping off the plane from Christmas vacation in France with his family telling him I was pregnant we moved in together. He’s never lived with a girl nor been in a serious relationship (Yikes!). This has been such a great change for the both of us and we’ve come a longgggg way. For inspiration and hope for a better, healthy, happy pregnancy this time around I’ve read books, blogs, expressed my emotions rather bottling them up to close friends and family, and just prayed.
My first pregnancy I was in my own bubble of depression. My ex and I fought all the time, he constantly made me feel awful about myself, and we just were in a bad situation. I over ate, stayed in sweats all the time, and just didn’t care about my appearance. This time around I made sure I ate a bit healthier, took the time on my appearance, and kept to positive affirmations about my pregnancy and birth. I got out of the house more for play dates/groups and I also continued to work.
To keep me inspired about natural birth and home birth I’ve read birth stories, studied hypnobirthing, practice relaxation techniques, and practiced my birth affirmations.
Here a few natural birth stories/videos that have kept me inspired through out my pregnancy:
- Pacing the Panic Room: At Home and Last Moments of 57 Hours
- A Little Blueberry: Lemon’s Birth Story
- Dear Baby: Everly’s Birth Story and Arlo’s Birth Story
- Boho Baby Bump: Forest Kael’s Birth Story
- Malorie and Elsa: Elsa’s Birth Story
There has been so many I have read, these were just a few of my favorites. I will never grow tired of reading these beautiful stories. It’s absolutely amazing seeing how these beautiful babies started out once they entered this world we live in.
I can’t express how happy we are to find that our baby may have flipped, according to my midwife! We are having an ultrasound on Monday to confirm, but I really think she’s right because when we first found out he was breeched it was hard to find his heartbeat. Today though it was so easy to find! Lower right-hand side we heard his beautiful healthy heartbeat. It was a glorious moment!
I want to thank everyone for the support, kind words, and positive vibes. They have really helped!
Other than that awesome news, she was very impressed on how much we have prepared for our home birth. We do have to get a few more items, and once we have everything I will do a post dedicated to that. After today, things have hit us that this is REAL! I’m feeling happy and excited! I can’t wait until Monday to see our little bub, and hopefully we can get our birthing pool set up and we wait for our special day!
FOUR more weeks to go! I can’t believe it! This pregnancy has gone by so fast, and honestly I’m glad it’s almost over. I’m completely uncomfortable, exhausted, and I just want my body back. I constantly remind myself that my body is doing an amazing thing by growing a human for a second time. I’m really blessed for my body to be able to do this, and I will never forget it. But hell this baby is really beating me up internally it feels. I honestly don’t think he’s breeched anymore, I think he’s transverse.
I get pressure on both sides of my belly, especially my right underneath my rib cage. Wednesday night I legit felt as if there was a limb that was going to just come right out of my lady parts. That’s how much pressure I was feeling from this little guy. I feel his body just push up every time I eat causing me to have massive heartburn and nausea.
Today is my home visit with my midwife. Reason why this post is a two parts. I’m going try to update part two tonight, if not tomorrow. Depending on tonights events.
My midwife is coming today to make sure we have all of our birth supplies, checking the baby’s position, discuss options to get baby to flip, meeting who I want at my birth (my mom and Kristina), tying up loose ends, going over birth plan, and answering any unanswered questions.
I believe everything happens for a reason, and God has a plan for us. I’ve accepted that, but I’m going to stay positive. My baby will turn.
Woops! Sorry things have been hectic here that I haven’t really had the time to sit down and blog. I quickly do daily updates via twitter/facebook and instagram if you want to keep up with us on our crazy days. Anyways, back to our pregnancy weekly updates. Approximately, this little Webster bean is about the size of an apple. I do have a small little belly. I meet with a midwife tomorrow afternoon, and I’m really excited because I found out my insurance covers home birth! So I’m really hoping I find a midwife from this practice that will be a good fit for us! I don’t think you know how excited I am! I’ve been wanting this since I was pregnant with Adonis. I just wasn’t well educated to have the guts to do it when I was pregnant then. I also want Adonis to be apart of this. Giving birth in the comfort of my own home with Nico and Adonis will just be amazing. Nico is all for it as well! The support I’m getting from him, my family, and friends is what I need, and I’m incredibly grateful for.
Once we find out the gender of our little bean I plan on having a housewarming party along with a gender reveal party for our friends and family. We actually will be finding out the gender along with everyone else. How so? Well we are going to have the midwife write down the gender on a note, put it an in envelope, so we can give it to the baker to make the cake. That way there is no chance of us slipping the gender to anyone before the party. Oh I know the anticipation will kill me, but what’s a few days before the party will do. I have so many ideas, you can follow my board here to see what I have in mind for our party.
Aside from those things, I still don’t quite have my energy back. Up until today I have not been sick, then this morning, there goes my yogurt in the toilet. I don’t feel nauseous anymore, just tired. I haven’t been able to sleep through the night much I wake up from these awful dreams (I’d rather not talk about), and I can’t go back to sleep. It’s like I shut my eyes and it goes back to that very scary dream. I know when you’re pregnant you have wacky dreams, but these are just awful. They aren’t violent though. Some migraines here and there, and over the weekend I’ve experienced major heartburn. Towards the end of my pregnancy with Adonis heartburn was prominent, but damn not this early. 15 weeks and this baby might already be hairy? haha
I’ve started doing some prenatal yoga. It’s a great way to meditate and get in tuned with the little bean. I love it. The days are getting warmer and we plan on taking walks as a family. I’m waiting for Nico to get home early from work to go for a walk together with the little guy. It’s 68 degrees outside! Before this post strays off anymore, bottom line, I honestly just can’t wait to hold my newborn baby. To have another one under these circumstances, I’m just over the moon blessed!
Going to do some prenatal yoga right now. To the right of that DVD in the background is Adonis’ antibiotics. Took him to the walk-in clinic, poor kid has a double ear infection. Will explain later on my blog for the reasons why my son couldn’t see his regular doctor. I’m so upset. He’s resting now, so I’m going to go meditate. #prenatal #yoga #pregnancy #secondtrimester #toddlers #sick (Taken with instagram)